Child Suspended For a Gun-Shaped Pop-Tart

Park Elementary School in Baltimore isn't taking any prisoners when it comes to gun control, and 7-year-old John Welch is the latest to feel the brunt of their zero tolerance policy towards violence and food that could be construed to be indicative of violence. The incident in question occurred after John's afternoon snacking on a Pop-Tart took an artistic bent.

"All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain," John told local news. "But, it didn't look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda." Faced with a dilemma that has plagued artists for centuries, teachers say he went on to hold the Pop-Tart like a gun and say bang bang. "It was already a rectangle," John said mournfully. "And I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kinda looked like a gun but it wasn't," Nevertheless, the Pop-Tart was confiscated and John was suspended for two days ...


Jeremy Tyson


Jeremy Tyson commented…

This is just ludicrous. I would have never been able to have breakfast if people were overreacting this way when I was that boy's age. Oh no, what would they have done if they saw that I chewed a face out of my bologna, gasp! Boys need to be boys and children need to be creative.

Seth Neckers


Seth Neckers commented…

Meanwhile, teaching morality and how to distinguish right from wrong gets completely skipped. Just pathetic.

Jason Goodman


Jason Goodman commented…

I try and be optimistic but I am constantly reminded how moronic people can be.

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